Money Tree Caterpillars: MEET THY DOOM!

` Though I don't yet have the internet in my new apartment (oh my God will the moving post be hilarious!) the next post for this blog has already been written - back in September of 2005! That's right! It was back before I had this blog and intended to be up on Wackmobiles.
` Why didn't I just put it up then? Because I hadn't photographed my sketchbook until months later, and by that time I wanted to wait until the day I got to this pagespread in chronological order.

` This is that day! So without further ado/brook trout, here's what I've already written in 2005:

` Has anyone ever seen these overly-cutesy commercials featuring a man and a woman in green and yellow butterfly larva costumes, talking about The MoneyTree? In one of them, there is a cartoon painting of the one named 'Bob', and... it blinks!!

` They are rather infamous in areas where their commercial plagues television. In fact, their infamy is no secret, as we see in this article [notice I don't mention where I got this from]...

But readers hardly confined their disdain to the Mariner ads. Among those getting mentions, along with some reader quotes: The Travelocity gnome ("lame...the least the ad agency could have done was animate the character.")

[I disagree - the object of the commercials was to portray a stolen garden gnome as part of a prank.]

The Quizno's ads with creatures that no one is quite sure how to describe (among the attempts: sponge monkeys, singing gerbils, roadkill). The secretary of state's ads on voting ("Some of the most amateur advertisements I've seen or heard in mainstream media."). Money Tree's caterpillars....

` And for all my loyal readers (yes, all three of you!), I have given much attention to this problem and have taken the situation into my own hands. Muahahhahahhaahaa! (Clicky to view.) [I'll admit, though, I've since updated the last speech bubble to something more humorous.]

` Proof that thousands of species in the world really would value the MoneyTree Caterpillars - and most of them are either insect-eaters or parasitic wasps!
` Of course, Bob and Babs have also been the subject of such internet communities as the Satanosphere. (No, it's not for Satanists; it began as an undeveloped domain, named for one of the Captain's songs...) [Who was the Captain, again?]
` One forum commenter ZomBfied observed:

I was thinking who paid for this, thought it was good enough to show and made a series of them? Did they get like story boards or do any kind of market research?

But you know what --in an advertisers mind the fact that we are talking about them means they were effective. There's no such thing as bad attention. If we hate them we remember them more than if we were ambivilant. I'm going to do some research and try to find out who is responsible.

And Paul Shrug replied:

If one were to believe ZomB's theory that these commercials aren't so much made to be good as much as notable (not a bad theory in my opinion), then I have a suggestion that would drive Money Tree's business through the roof: Have a commercial with Ice Cube shooting both of these furry things in the head.

It can work. Wrigley's Gum Company went from having the squarest, most awful ads on television into having the strangest and possibly greatest. I'm just trying to help.

I still hate those fucking bugs.

And ZomBfied added:

bug1: Hey I'm having a burger
bug2: What kind of burger
bug1: My favorite: A leaf burger!
bug1: Hey who's that?
Ice Cube: You won the contest!
bug2: What contest?
Ice Cube: The wet T-shirt contest Mutha f(beep)! (shoots them both in the chest several times)

` YES!! Wet with their pus-colored caterpillar blood! Muahahaa! Further down, Commander Pizza Killa wrote:

Kills 'em, I say, those annoying bugs!

` And Paul said:

The Commander's affirmation... now I know this is a righteous cause.

Nary a butterfly shall there be!

` RIGHT ON!! These comments, in fact, stem from this still-running [in 2005] poll about just what they think the MoneyTree Caterpillar Commercials are...

TV advertising's equivalent of "Family Circus" 2 votes -
18%
TV advertising's equivalent of "Marmaduke" 0 votes -
0%
Like Teletubbies, without the maturity and depth of character 3 votes - 27%
Will someday be the name of a drink you get at raves 0 votes -
0%
Are startlingly effective! Makes me wanna go borrow money against my paycheck at obscene interest rates! 1 vote -
9%
Were one of Himmler's most insidious, evil inventions 0 votes -
0%
Killed my daddy 3 votes - 27%
The fuck? 2 votes - 18%

` In fact, so despised are Bob and Babs that they are also mentioned in this San Diego Reader Remote Control King article as the second item on the easily-irked Ollie's list;

WHAT I WILL AND WON'T WATCH THIS WEEK...

THE COMMERCIAL ISSUE!

...three girls walk along on a beach. One says, "I'd kill for a brownie," and her friend says, "Oh, yeah, she's menstrual." Like it's the latest, hip, happening thing for a girl's uterus to slough off its interior wall. ...My biggest fear involving this is that it will become the de rigueur punchline in every stand-up comedian's routine for the next ten years.

...If I'm really pissed off and have no place to channel my anger I think about what I would do to those Money Tree caterpillars if we were ever in the same room. My scowl soon turns to a smile as I think of green and yellow face paint smeared across my knuckles, teeth skittering over a concrete floor, and the shouts of, "Please! Oh, please! No more! I can't take...oh, my antennae! No!"

` Me too, Ollie. Me too. Just another example of how much the MoneyTree caterpillars stir up so much hate from the people!
` It's true, we're an ugly bunch when you show us such irresponsible cutesieness. And perhaps that is MoneyTree's intent! Perhaps they want us to go insane so that we will do what they want!!
` How insidious of them!

` Then again, don't a lot of commercials do that? Yet another good reason I'm glad we don't have television. Except for CBS and UPN for some odd reason. Hey! South Park is coming to UPN! [Yes, this was definitely written in 2005, and no, I no longer have television at all, nor do I live with the same people!]

` And just for this blog, a special bonus photo - the last 'drawring' in my sketchbook at the time I had drawn the caterpillars.

` Every Person Who Lived In My Apartment At That Time Knows It's Butters!
` ...Butters, and her best friend, Food!

` I'll have my very own internet by Friday, so please be patient. My upcoming moving post is definitely worth reading and full of humor - and a few more cat photos! Overall, the experience of exploring our new apartment was full of surprises, including a bucket of poopy water, huge clods of dog fur and an entire empire of mildew!
` Great place, huh?

` Update: If you think the caterpillars are weird... how about a Kotex commercial featuring a beaver as a girl's best friend? Mutters' blog post concerning this (and my link to the video) is right here.